Goals
Goals: the most daunting word in the entire world
“What are your goals with this blog?”
“What are your goals with your law degree?”
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
“What inspires you?”
“What is your dream job?”
The questions hover over me as I try to figure out a response. What aren’t my goals would be an easier question to unravel.
I am ambitious. This isn’t to brag; this is actually one of my downfalls. I set myself up for failure by creating too many goals for myself. I am constantly comparing myself to others, and I feel like I need to do everything right now; otherwise, there isn’t going to be enough time to do it in the future.
By putting so much pressure on myself to do all the work to reach my goals every minute of every day, I get overwhelmed with all there is to do—so much that I just shut down and don’t do anything at all. This puts me into the same awful and vicious cycle of wanting to do so much and then being so overwhelmed that I can’t focus on just one goal.
You may be feeling bad for me—this is not my intention. I am just trying to normalize talking about this. You may feel like this too—saving every travel TikTok you see in hopes of making it out of your landlocked Midwest state, screenshotting every food reel on Instagram to “make later” even though you never will, or ordering every new trendy piece of clothing online only for it to be back ordered due to high demand and—oh... what is that? Are we onto a new trend? Catch UP!
We constantly scroll on our phones, chasing dopamine hit after dopamine hit, and then turn our phones off and make a to-do list that Santa couldn’t even check twice. We create to-do lists based on 100 different videos that we consumed in the last hour and ask ourselves, “Why is it taking me so long to be like these other people who seem to have it all together?”
These videos you see online work are like memories—you only see the good stuff. You don’t see the behind-the-scenes work. You don’t see the anxieties of these people, and you don’t get the natural rawness of what we call “life.” Life isn’t ten picture-perfect frames that fit into a concise 30-second reel in harmonious sync with a Charli xcx song.
Life is about doing the best that you can. Life is about celebrating the small stuff. Life is about telling people you love them. Life is hectic, it’s messy, it’s unpredictable. If you are wondering why your life isn’t the same as that of some random person on the internet, chances are their life is quite similar to yours.
We are all just trying to figure out who we are and who we want to be—here are some tips to enjoy the present.
Make a meal that brings you comfort. I don’t care about the calories or if it has butter in it—make a meal that transports you to a simpler time. My comfort meal is my mom’s meatloaf with buttery baked potatoes and cheesy green bean casserole.
Go for a walk outside. Explore a new neighborhood or a familiar route. Don’t use your phone or listen to music—just take in nature and find beauty in everything around you.
Call an old friend. Talk to someone who knows the old you and everything you have been through. That person doesn’t care about who you want to be because they already loved you through all your awkward stages. They know who you are—talk to them.
Tell someone you love them. You could tell someone flat out that you love them, or you could do an act of kindness for someone who may need it right now. Bake some cookies for a neighbor, send some flowers with a heartfelt note to a loved one, or buy a person in need some groceries—just remind people that there is good in the world and that someone is looking out for them.
Finally, think about a time when you were strong. If you made it out of a difficult time and ended up on the other side, okay, this time is no different.
Now, how do we set healthier and more attainable goals for ourselves? We must start at the beginning. Setting and achieving goals, like all things we perfect, is like working out a muscle or studying for a test. The more you work at it, the better you will get.
Start simple.
To-Do Today:
Eat
Drink Water
Move
Work/School
Relax
Sleep
Just get the basics down. Don’t overcomplicate it.
Once you get that down, you can get more specific.
Cook a meal
Drink 2 Stanleys worth of water
Pilates class
Study for test
Read a chapter of a book
In bed by 10
Your weekend goals list may look a little different but don’t pack too much in there. Do what you reasonably can; otherwise, you will get bogged down in the same cycle of planning too much and not being able to do it all.
Saturday To-Do:
Go out for brunch with friends
Walk around the lake
Fold laundry
Book a fall trip with family
Wine with partner
Set an alarm before bed
There is so much to do and so little time. But if you aren’t enjoying the present, you’ll never enjoy the future. Take a deep breath, center yourself, and set realistic expectations. You aren’t behind—exactly where you are meant to be.
